Writing Non-sense: Can I go back?

There you go..
After million times I've not visited this blog, suddenly I miss to write. 

What should I write?
I don't know

What do I think then?
I'm... not clear, though

Sometimes, I think too much.... Sometimes, I feel too much....
Sometimes, I miss too much.... Sometimes, I hurt too much....
Sometimes, I am afraid too much.... Sometimes, I pretend too much.... 
Sometimes, I act to be okay too much.... and it feels so tired.

I forget how to get relax and enjoy my life
I keep being busy how to forget the bad things and take my own remedy to refresh my mind
I feel exhausted to expect and fantasize
I keep pretending to be strong in struggling and achieving more as the hope to be seen
Yet, good thing is never on me.

Heeeey....
it's always about I... and I... and I
Yeah, right!
because I don't know how to deal with the word you
because everything seems so wrong about me when it's next to you
because nothing related to me can't be righteous to you

Why should I blame you?
I... don't think so. 

I blame surrounded
I blame time and place
I blame fate
They form an ally of traitor between I and You

So, what the hell I do now? 
Seems like writing nonsense about I and You like a puberty adolescent...

Well, it might be true.. and I don't care though.
I've gone too far
I've forgotten the old good times
I've burned the happiest life
I've been left by everyone
and I've the last thought I can do...
the only best way to get sobbed and relieved in the same time, indeed writing.

Can I go back?
*backsound taylor swift - back to december* 
(I know it's not match with the heart of the song, but who cares?)

in the mood of writing non-sense

fatimahghaniem

Surabaya,18 June 2016 - 23:08

Sebuah Kejutan Kecil

Selama satu minggu ini, Allah SWT tengah memberiku sebuah kejutan kecil yang hingga kini tak kuketahui maknanya. Mungkin memang terlalu sepele dan lebay, tapi tidak ada salahnya berpikir positif bukan? masih kuyakini, ada maksud dibalik pertemuan beruntun yang tidak sengaja ini. sebuah pertemuan singkat nan menggelitikku untuk menulis tentangnya, tentang seorang teman dengan ceritanya yang kusimpan secara unik dalam memoriku. Pertemuan yang akhirnya sedikit mengusik tabir kenanganku dikala SMA, moment yang hampir 6 tahun telah berlalu itu. Lho Apa hubungannya?

Black Hole

there is a day, when I know you for just only a mouthy-story

this mouthy-story gives me a blur portrayal, so I don't pay much attention

the following days, the mouthy-story transfers as a movie

that is the day when I see you as a complete representation of human being

it doesn't mean anything, since there is no word comes out between us

the next dimension times and places gives us a chance to say 'hello'

well, it seems like our first time we know each other names, and yes talk

the day when I start studying your personality as new friend

though, I forget how we undergo the calendar one by one

I surely know I don't really pay attention about you

as far as I can remember, subjecting you as a complete stranger of my life

I never know your intention, indeed

when your messages are coming continuously, with a bit weird question sometimes

but then, I thought it is only a kind of business you want me to do for you

well, being busy is worth me for not thinking how strange your approachment

In other way, it seems like I get a trouble dealing with my personality 

I feel so wrong whenever giving no to your question and invitation

I get the uncomfortability feeling which finally lead me to care about your presence

precious time gives so much probability of chances to work out

hey, none can handle when all dimensions become an ally, but the three alphabets, A-C-T

and how could I do when the A-C-T also chooses to merge to be their ally?

oh I do miss my busy times

the times when I cannot notice your peculiar act

because I am afraid it makes me fall... and throw me too deep 

into a black hole

guys, certain action is taken because there are some reasons behind it! >.<

@fatimahghaniem

16 Januari 2015

It is January

It is January... 

when the rain visits.. 

not too often, but not too rare.

It is January... 

when the cloud seems so dark..

not too often, but almost everyday.

It is January... 

when all human's story has just begun.. 

not too gloomy, but not too fabulous

It is January...

when the hope flies..

not so high, but not that low.

It is January...

when your day comes up..

not too precise, but not that random.

It is January...

when I miss you...

not smaller than everyday, but bigger than I can remember

It is January...

when I dream about you...

not in all my sleeps, but more often.

It is January...

when I always question your existence...

not that often, but a piece can hurt much.

It is January...

when you conquer me all day...

since it began, till the day moves to February.

It is January...

when you haunt me...

not to kill me, but make me suffer of dying.

It is January...

I don't know, how many January I have passed without you...

It is January...

I.. would never know when I can stop sobbing about you...

Yeah, it is January...

I... would never know when I can enjoy my life without you...

It is January...

when I wish I can get a life...

Hey January... 

when the dimension never meets us...

it is not about maps, I am just a faith believer. 

January...

don't bother to think the way out

it simply is God's hand.

@fatimahghaniem

15 Januari 2015

Alkisah Saudara Kembar Selena Gomez!

Remaja di seluruh dunia pastilah mengenal siapa itu Selena Gomez, apalagi yang paling up-to-date dengan dunia hiburan western. Selebriti muda berbakat ini, namanya kian melambung meskipun diterpa berbagai konflik terkait hubungannya dengan Justin Bieber, seleb youtube yang juga kini sangat terkenal itu. Well, kayaknya opening ini layaknya disudahi aja ya. Bakal lebih asik kalo kita segera mengulik kisah saudara kembar Selena Gomez yang sangat fenomenal ini!

Selena Gomez | source: www.heshestats.com

Alkisah seorang mahasiswi kebidanan bernama Amel yang kuliah di salah satu perguruan tinggi mengadakan praktek di rumah bersalin. Saat pertama kali tiba, temannya yang sudah dulu praktek disana memperkenalkan ia dengan salah satu anak Ibu bidannya yang masih duduk di kelas 4 SD. "Kenalin, ini mbak Amel. Mbak Amel ini teman mbak Lala yang juga mau praktek disini," buka Lala pada saat itu.

Dengan percaya diri, si gadis mengulurkan tangan kepada Amel dan menyahut, "Halo mbak. Kenalin namaku Stevi, Stevi Binti Selena Gomez," gadis ini diam sejenak menatap Amel yang termangu-mangu sambil menerima uluran tangannya. "Ituloh mbak, Selena Gomez yang pacarnya Justin Bieber. Aku ini saudara kembarnya," lanjutnya dengan centil.

Amel tersenyum singkat diantara ekspresi kebingungannya kala itu. Ia pun menengok ke arah temannya Lala sambil membatin, Anak ini apa ga kenapa-kenapa kan? 

Lala akhirnya hanya mengangkat bahu sambil tersenyum penuh arti.

Kemudian, Amel menemukan hal lain mengenai Stevi. Ternyata, sang saudara kembar Selena Gomez ini berbeda dengan saudaranya yang lain. Adiknya terlihat ganteng dan putih bersih turunan ayah dan ibunya, sedangkan Stevi berkulit gelap dan tambun dengan bobot 50 kg di usianya yang masih 10 tahun. Amel pun  akhirnya tak sanggup menahan gejolak pertanyaan-pertanyaan di kepalanya itu. Ia memberanikan diri bertanya kepada Lala, "La, Stevi bener anaknya Bu Nura? Kok dia beda sih, sama adik-adiknya?"

"Hussh.. ngawur kamu! Ya iyalah, anak siapa lagi?" 

***

A Short Trial For The Delighted Dine!

Halooo akhirnya nyampe juga di penghujung liburan! Oh man, mau bilang ga rela, ya udah sih relain aja si mantan, ntar bisa cari yang baru lagi.

Okay lupakan opening ga sinkron ini, mari kita selesaikan apa yang mengusik pikiran hari ini sehingga memangsa jemari untuk mengetikan barisan huruf dalam seri blog jurnalicious kali ini.

Well, sebenernya simple aja sih. Cerita ini dimulai saat beberapa hari yang lalu, umik saya tiba-tiba bertanya, "makaroni itu enaknya dimasak apa sih?"

"Ya, banyak mik," jawabku sambil lalu.

"Dimasak gawe tambahan sup ah?" sahutnya kemudian.

Sambil termenung, sesaat saya memikirkan sup yang udah penuh dengan sayur kentang, wortel, kubis, kacang panjang, tomat dan lain-lain itu, ya masa masih ditambah makaroni lagi. Itu mah kayak... penuh banget! Lagian kayak ga ada variasi masak makaroni lain aja. Akhirnya, dengan ngasal saya menjawab, "jangan sup, wes beli aja dulu dipikirin nanti bikin apa."

Eh pas beso paginya iseng mainin timeline twitter, ada seorang teman bilang lagi bikin makaroni schotel! CLING! Bohlam lampu muncul mendadak di samping kanan kepala saya. Nih ini.. mending makaroninya dibikin ini aja! Namun kebahagiaan itu sirna, ketika umik datang dan mengabarkan bahwa beliau hanya membeli dua sachet makaroni kecil. Duh ah, mana bisa bikin makaroni schotel kalo makaroninya dikit begitu. Well, singkat cerita.. ide itu sempat lenyap beberapa hari karena kesibukan di tengah libur lebaran ini.

Tiba-tiba hari ini, umik bertanya, "sido dibikin apa iku makaroninya?" 

Sebuah Renungan : Bullying

No one wants to be the center of bullying's object!

Hey, lama tak menulis, tiba-tiba muncul dengan satu kalimat yang.. sedikit berat. Sudah sering denger dong dengan kata bullying? Yap, kata tersebut lagi ngetren banget di kalangan remaja baik anak sekolahan maupun kuliahan. Sebuah kata yang dijadikan register yang katanya untuk mempererat pertemanan dan persahabatan. Ada yang bilang, "Bully itu tanda sayang kita kali, biar kita makin erat." Nah, kalo orang yang dijadikan object bully ga terima, nanti ujung-ujungnya bilang "it was kidding", "yaelah becanda kali, gitu aja marah.. ah ga asik lo!" dan sejuta kalimat berlabel "elo ga asik, elo ga gaul" lainnya. Hm.. sepertinya ada fenomena yang unik sekali yaaa dengan pergeseran makna bullying ini! Yuk coba kupas tuntas napak tilas tentang bullying tergahol masa kini ini!